1) I gladly give up my morning routine of struggling to put on pants, pulling back muscles as I tried to shimmy pants over my hips, then having to do spastic calisthenics just to stretch the waistline out enough to get the button into the buttonhole. A truly exhausting process and not exactly a confidence-building start to the day at 6:30am.
2) I relinquish, with pleasure, ownership of the resultant fleshy muffin-top that then resided above the waistline of said pants noted in #1 above.
3) I gladly give up the feelings of bloatedness and lethargy after eating copious amounts of foods, usually within 2 hours of bedtime, as well as the nightly statement as predictable as the tides, "I shouldn't have eaten that much."
4) In the same vein, I will not miss giving up what had become a predictable restaurant conversation topic with my friends post-feeding-frenzy-consumption -- "I can't believe I ate that much. We really need to get healthy and stop doing this. Where's that waiter with my gin and tonic?"
5) I will not feel deprived when I choose to eat one (1) scoop of ice cream slowly instead of eating three (3) scoops of ice cream in Guinness Book of World Record time...and loaded with caramel topping (processed)...and nuts (you're eating ice cream! who needs more fat from the nuts?)....and maybe some peanut butter mixed in. I give up the idea that more tastes better!
6) I've found that spending less time at work (within reason) makes me work more effectively and with a fresher brain and attitude! I give up any feelings of guilt I used to feel if I left work early. Bye-bye, guilt!
7) Similarly, I will not miss how I convinced myself daily for multiple years that the main reason I couldn't work out regularly, didn't work out on a schedule, was because I had so much work to do. Excuses, excuses.
8) I will not miss cold air against body parts that used to stick outside of the water in a full bathtub. My parts have reduced just enough where it's all submerged now! (Well, most of it.)
9) And speaking of those few parts that aren't submerged, I will NOT miss a double D cup size one little bit! I could deal with a little less gravity though.....sigh.
10) And lastly, I will not miss being able to read 3 or 4 pages of a book while working on completing "bathroom business".....ahhhh, the amazing and fast-acting power of fruits and vegetables, water and exercise!
Wahoo! Better than ANY Letterman could come up with! And sooo true!! :)
ReplyDeleteSherri, I have done the calisthenic pant dance so many times myself. Hurray for us for giving it up!
ReplyDeleteCheck,check and double check! Ain't life great?
ReplyDelete